03 7 / 2016
I don’t think anything is worse than being in a relationship where every little thing that you do or say is wrong. Where sharing your feelings even when you were the one that was hurt leads to you being the one profusely apologizing. To being conditioned to believe that things like calling someone on the phone, or asking for emotional support or help is just too much. And if you slip up and show tears or say too much, or stand up for yourself and show that you’re visibly upset, you get shunned. All kindness and affection and anything that could signify that you’re special to a person gets shut off to punish you. And then when they’re gone you are left with hating yourself. Thinking there is something so wrong with you. Realizing that you cared so much for someone who wouldn’t even think twice about leaving you behind. All the pain you feel in their absence makes you think “if it hurts this much without them, then maybe we are meant to be together” and you fight and fight for this person. But they will never love you. And the worst part is, by the time you realize this, they have worn down on your self esteem so hard that you are okay with playing make pretend because if they will never love you, who else could. You cry every night and feel as alone as ever even when someone is asleep by your side. But you have to realize that you’ve already been alone this whole time and you’ve experienced enough pain that you are left with two options. Either way you’re going to cry yourself asleep for months. But if you walk away, there will be a day where you won’t have to cry anymore. It will be hard, but you have already been through enough and if you made it through that, you can make it through anything. Hell, I wake up in tears each morning and cry myself to sleep and I get stuck in bad thoughts but I’m finally able to see things for how they are and am on that journey of self acceptance and forgiveness. It might be a while until I can let another person in because I was left genuinely believing who I am as a person is unlovable and annoying and inconvenient, and just absolutely unfavorable. But each day I question that more and more and fight for myself and think I deserve to like myself. We all do.
Îm sorry boo for doing That ..
03 7 / 2016
you know youre devastated when you skip the crying stage and go straight to writing poetry and making art
03 7 / 2016
"Let’s take a trip! We’ll learn about ourselves and learn about each other, the perfect way to live, and a way to stay together."
03 7 / 2016
Anonymous asked: What about a Hufflepuff girl kissing her Ravenclaw boyfriend?
To you my love ❤️
03 7 / 2016
"I’ve become fluent in the ways female sexuality scares men."
03 7 / 2016
"
It’s 3am, my best friend and I have almost finished a bottle of vodka and she looks me and asks:
“Why don’t you just start something with him? I took a chance and now I am happier than ever with I guy I never saw coming”A noise that resembles a chuckle escapes my mouth.
“Because I ruin everything good in my life, I have a history of ruining people. I know that you think we are broken in all the same places. But the fact is, unlike you history is not on my side.”I think it was then she realised that maybe I was far more broken than she originally thought.
"
The saddest part? I don’t think I want to be fixed, I don’t think I want to spend my life with someone.
I enjoy being alone.
03 7 / 2016
"Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you have the right to be cruel."
Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
So me ..
Yesterday i had an argument with my boyfriend and then in said Things That shouldn’t been told ..
